How A Father Should Raise His Daughter

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A father loves his daughter dearly. When he sees her for the first time, he vows to be the most stable and consistent man in her life — the one who will love her no matter what. All it takes is that first look — and he loves her hopelessly.

He is there for her. When she wakes up from a frightening dream, he hauls himself up from bed to soothe her. Even when his work exhausts him to no end, he manages to find the energy to watch her ballet recital or her volleyball practice. He enjoys his Saturday breakfast with her — even when they just sit next to each other in silent enjoyment of their cereals.

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He always has a ready smile and words of encouragement for her. He makes her feel important.

He is patient with her — through temper tantrums, endless questions, and sassy retorts. He introduces the world to her and helps her discover it bit by bit. He helps her build the confidence that she needs in order to find her own place in this world.

As she begins to try to navigate her way into the world though the difficult teen years, he remains a father to her — but from some distance. As she challenges his rules, pushes him back in favor of her peers, and fights to assert her independence, he remains faithful to his love for her. He knows it is important for her to find her own sense of self.

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He stays in the background — a steady and constant influence even as she tries to test her limits. He remains helpful, understanding, and supportive — but not embarrassing to her. He allows her to be “cool” — within reason, of course — with her friends.

He goes through small battles with her — and finds areas where they can compromise. He remains loving but firm. He makes her understand that he loves her and wants the best for her. He makes her realize that when he is tough with her, it is because he loves her.

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He remains protective, but not overly so. He is not too intrusive. He knows that she needs space and freedom to make her choices and grow on her own. If she makes the wrong decision, he is there for her — if she seeks his company. He is happy enough that she knows that he will always be there when she needs him.

If she needs to talk about boys or her period cramps, he is there to listen. Even if the topics may sometimes make him cringe inwardly, he rejoices with the knowledge that she trusts and respects him enough to want to discuss things with him. He may not understand all of it but he will certainly listen with all his heart.

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He makes her understand about his constancy. There may be times when she shows a natural preference for her friends or her mother; he makes her see that he takes no offense in this. When she needs to make a decision, he patiently listens as she talks her way through it — giving her his own thoughts on the matter but not making the decision for her.

He talks to her about friendship and love — and values and attitudes that will help her find her way through this tumultuous world. She knows that he will always be there — through conquests and heartbreaks.

He remains a steadfast and constant presence in her life — even when she becomes distant or creates her own world with her own family.

They both know that they have a special niche in each other’s hearts.

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About Dr Patrick Fraser

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